I am still lost for words with the shocking trauma that Manchester encountered on Monday night. In your wildest dreams you could never imagine that anyone could do something so callous and evil and the reality of it really hits when it's so close to home.
Being born in Manchester, I love the city. Like most other Mancunians we are proud of our beautiful city and have been lucky enough to live here.
What happened at the Ariana Grande concert on 22.5.17 means that Manchester will never be the same again. Nobody can take back the atrocities that were forced upon innocent families who have done nothing but have a zest to enjoy live and have fun. I can't comprehend how the world has people in it who are capable of this.
I am beyond devastated, as is everyone, for the children and parents, grandparents and friends of people who were so sadly taken on that night. Not to mention all those who will bear the mental scars forever and those still in hospital fighting to live. Heartbroken on every level is how this has left us all.
I wasn't sure if I should mention this on my blog but I felt I couldn't just ignore it. It's made me paranoid and I know other parents will be feeling the same insecurity as I do today and every day from now on.
This week my little girl went on her first school trip, to a farm outside the city. I sat for hours debating whether I should let her go. She was filled with excitement and counted down the nights beforehand until she could go. How could I tell her she now wasn't allowed, just in case the worst were to happen. They attack in the most unlikely places and are now targeting children. I don't know if anywhere is actually safe. But I still have my family and with the deepest regret not everyone is so fortunate.
I can't begin to imagine how the parents of the victims from the Manchester Arena attack will ever recover. I don't know how they will ever let a loved one out of their sight. I don't know if I could carry on as a parent losing a child. It is harrowing and yet we have to carry on.
The vigil in Manchester displayed how we can come together as one strong community and not be beaten by these attackers. It doesn't bring anyone back though and that is the worst part.
I guess we have to accept that this is the world we live in and carry on with life as if it's normal. But how is that possible?
I don't know, maybe you feel the same, maybe I'm neurotic now, maybe we have all been scarred regardless of whether we were there.
Thinking of all the families who have been victim to this atrocious attack and praying for them at this difficult time.